Chapter Twenty-Four

Brent took a sip of his martini as he watched the man beside him chat up the bartender.

"So what do you think?" Si asked. "There's plenty of places around here we can go for breakfast. We'll have you home before sunrise."

The girl shook her auburn curls and went to make him another Bombay martini. "I don't think so."

"Why not?" When he didn't get an answer, he turned to Brent with a grin. "She'll go with us. She's saying no right now because it's still early. Trust me, by the time we close this place, she'll be ready."

Brent changed the subject. "You still haven't told me what you think about my situation. I could really use your advice."

The bartender set Si's fresh martini in front of him. He took out the olive and chewed on it thoughtfully. "Do you want my personal advice?" he asked. "Or legal?"

"Both."

"The legal will cost you."

"I'll buy you your next martini."

"The martini is the price of my personal advice."

"I'll take whatever I can get."

Si toyed with the stem of his glass. "Let me see if I have this straight. After years of pining away from unrequited love for the lovely Elise Riddisee--"

"I liked her, yeah."

"Liked her? I started college on a four year plan and had to bump it up to three just to get away from your constant talking about her. If you'd hung around the house any more than you did, we'd have had to kick you out of the frat. I don't know what you saw in her."

"She's a very pretty girl," Brent said, as if that answered everything.

Si gave a shrug. "There were lots of pretty women hanging around. What was so special about one whose idea of a good time was to dance ballet and read Proust?"

"So she has brains and talent. What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing, I guess, if you're into that kind of thing, but I always liked the girls you actually slept with better."

"So I recall."

"Maybe she's all right once you get her in bed."

"As if you'd know."

"You're right, I don't know. But that's the only reason I can see for such...what should I call it, devotion?"

Brent scowled. "Whatever, man. Just get to your point."

Si took a sip of his martini. "What was my point? Oh, yes. So after years of unrequited love, she showed up in the same little burg you moved to. She just happened to need a job, and you just happened to have an opening. What a coincidence." He grinned like a well-fed cat. "You gave her the job and within a year, she's in your office after hours, taking her clothes off. Naturally you can't resist."

"Could you?"

Si raised his eyebrows. "Probably, but who's to say? I don't like to pass on opportunities, so maybe I would've enjoyed a little overtime with her, but it wouldn't have meant that much to me. The world is full of pretty girls who want to get laid. You know that, or at least you used to."

"This one meant something to me."

"Obviously."

"It got complicated faster than I thought it would, though."

"Sounds like it." Si traced a bead of condensation down the outside of his glass. "So let me finish up the scenario here. One day after you'd been getting it on with her in your office for about a year, the cuckolded husband shows up, knocking things around and demanding to know what you did with his wife, who has skipped town. Right?"

"I wouldn't have put it that way, but yeah."

"Turns out she left the both of you without telling anyone. Screwed you both. I like that."

"You would."

"I always did give the girl credit for having spunk. Kind of reminds me of-- well, remind me to tell you about the time I was doing two sisters, story's kind of similar. So anyway, you somehow convince this fool of a husband of hers to take you along so you can help him look for her, and after various misadventures, you find out that she's pregnant."

"That's right."

"And now here you are, with barely a 'see you later' to your wife, hanging around a guy who'd probably just as soon kill you as look at you, chasing after a girl who may be about to be the mother of someone else's brat." Si sat back on his bar stool and folded his arms across his chest. "Have I got it right?"

"In your inimitably crude fashion, yes." Brent said sullenly. He picked up his martini. "So what's your advice?"

"It's way too late for any advice of mine to do any good." Seeing Brent's face cloud over, he attempted to rearrange his features into seriousness. "Okay, let's see what we've got here. Job abandonment, for one. How much do you like or need your job? Will Daddy fire you if you don't get back pronto?"

Brent shrugged. "I doubt it. Besides, I'm good at what I do. I have a whole portfolio of references and I can get other work, no problem."

"Good. We won't worry too much about that one. Next, spousal abandonment. What's the situation with your wife?"

"Hard to say," Brent said. "She can be jealous, but here lately I get the impression she really doesn't want me around much. I feel like I'm in her way. She seemed happy enough to get me out of her hair. Still, once she finds out this isn't a business trip, I'm probably in for it."

"Naturally, then, if she knew all the dirty details, you'd be in even deeper shit."

"Absolutely. I'd probably be looking at a divorce."

"Got any property she can get her hands on? House? Land? Stocks or bank accounts? Did you have a pre-nup, by any chance?"

Brent shook his head. "Didn't think I'd ever need one."

"And what do you think now?"

"I think I'll need a good lawyer."

"Sounds like you understand the implications of that one, then." He motioned to the bartender to bring him another drink. "Now, here's a trickier one. Alienation of affection. Any chance Elise's husband might sue?"

"He doesn't strike me as the litigious type."

"You never know. Your divorce lawyer, if it turns out you need one, will probably be on the lookout for that. It's pretty standard in these types of cases. And finally we've got the issue of the kid. That's the big one. You know, even if you never find Elise, if that kid is yours, you're legally obligated to pay child support."

"How can I pay if I don't know where she is, or even if it's my child?"

"Don't worry, if she gets to wanting the money, the courts will find you. Be sure to insist on DNA testing, and be prepared to cough up some dough if it's yours."

"If it's my kid, of course I'll pay. I'll want to be able to be able to see him, though. Don't I have rights, too? What about visitation?"

Si shrugged. "Depends on the state where the suit is filed. Some states make it easy on the dad, others won't let you come anywhere near without documents signed in blood, if the mother doesn't want you around."

"Why wouldn't Elise want me around, though? That's what I don't understand. She knows how much I love her, and I know she must care for me too. I can understand why she might leave Joe, since she feels guilty about fooling around on him. She probably can't face him." Brent shrugged. "But what I don't get is why she would abandon me, too. It makes sense in one way, since the whole paternity issue is in doubt, but I'm her friend, aside from everything else. I could've helped her, made things easier for her."

Si took his fresh drink from the bartender and winked at her, getting nothing but a perfunctory smile for his efforts. He turned back to Brent. "Sounds to me like what you're really after is my personal advice."

Brent nodded and picked at his damp cocktail napkin.

"If you really like this girl, and it's obvious you've fallen hard for her, give up this stupid idea of finding her so you can give her back to her husband. If she loved him so damn much then why did she fool around on him and then run away? If you're determined to find her, in spite of the fact that I think it's a dumb thing to do, get her back for yourself. If she's hot to skip town, get a new identity, leave the country and live under an assumed name in Bolivia, then for Christ's sake go with her. Whatever you do, though, cut this martyr crap."

"I'm no martyr," Brent said.

"Like hell you aren't. As much as I make fun of you for having spent most of your life in love with a woman you spent years not even sleeping with, I admire your persistence. You really seem to care for her. Not to mention the fact you can't seem to keep your pants up when she's around."

"Thanks for making it sound so chivalrous."

Hey, those knights and ladies weren't as pure as the poets would have you believe. Where's the thrill of the chase if it doesn't eventually lead to the fun of the f--"

"I get your point."

The bartender had placed a fresh martini in front of Brent without asking and he gave her a tight smile. Her smile in return was genuine and she flipped her hair as she walked to the other end of the bar to dunk his empty glass in soapy water.

Si noticed the way the bartender had looked at him. "Don't you go moving in on my girl."

Brent frowned in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"The bartender. Didn't you see the way she looked at you?"

"No, I didn't."

"You've got it bad, then, if you can't even notice other chicks. You were never like this when we were in school. We've either got to get you laid or you've got to find Elise and keep her, if you can."

"I think I can find her," Brent said. "She's never gotten away from me for very long. But I don't think I'll be able to keep her. That's why I want to help Joe. He's good to her, and I think she can be happy with him. If she can't be happy with me, then I want to know she's happy with someone."

Si tossed back the remainder of his martini, and waved the bartender over. "Have you decided to have breakfast with me?"

She shook her head, but glanced tellingly at Brent.

"He'll be there, too," Si said.

The girl searched Brent's face for a sign but he caught the look and reached for his wallet. "No breakfast for me, thanks. I've got to get going."

The bartender shrugged in apparent unconcern and went to pull Brent's tab from where it was nestled with a stack of others near the computer. Si stared after her a moment. "Come on," he told Brent. Just have one cup of coffee, then you can split. She'll come if she thinks you're going to be there."

"Sorry, Si. It's late, I'm tired, and I'm already putting my hostess out enough, borrowing her car and making her maid wait up for me." He glanced at his check and handed the bartender his credit card. "I appreciate you meeting me here on such short notice, though. And thanks for all your advice."

"My bill will be in the mail."

"I'm sure it will."

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